I’ve thought that New Year’s Resolutions had become passé; hadn’t we as a nation simultaneously noticed about a decade ago that though they seem positively motivational, resolutions are depressingly self-defeatist? Yes: There IS something very hopeful, when we lovingly welcome each new year for all its potential, celebrate leaving behind one version of our lives and meeting a new one. I love that hope. But more often than not, we face pretty much the same selves from year to year. When New Year’s resolutions and their failure became fodder for every armchair comedian years ago, I thought we all simply decided, “Okay. . .Whew! I don’t have to join that charade anymore.”
So what the heck are all of you doing still thinking you will lose weight, save more money, and stop worrying so much in 2014? Nothing is more damaging to our self-esteem than not meeting the image we have of ourselves. My FB account is stuffed with friends’ promises to themselves this year, complete with photos of new trainers, salads, elliptical machines. What happened to our collective sigh of relief when we stopped seriously making resolutions? Broken promises hurt even if you are the one who made them to yourself.
But. . .that isn’t why I can’t bring myself to join this swamp. I’m pretty sure I won’t lose weight, save money, or worry less this year. Though as much as I wish I were that self-accepting, I simply can’t make those healthy resolutions. I had a traumatic back surgery last October that still keeps me from exercising at an aerobic level; I will be paying the medical bills and losing salary while I recover for months and months; and man, does it make me worry about how normal I will ever feel again.
Thus, a blog. In a year where I know I am forced to change from 2013-2014 whether I resolved to do so or not, I promise myself to write more. Here. About anything. Stories about kids, students, cats, dogs, husband(s), parents, in-laws, alcoholics, tea-totallers, bosses, reading, cooking, tennis, music, science, politics, love, hate, friendships, loneliness, indifference, excitement. . .I got them. Opinions? Oh, yes, plenty.
So until I am in a position to run, earn money, and be care free again. . .I promise in 2014 to work it out here in writing.